Monday, November 23, 2009
It's really your mess but I'll help u clean it up
Before there was fire, before transportation came on 22s since the dawn of time when sistas wanted boys with curly hair or the one who could pick u up from school it always appeared to me that ladies just had been doing it wrong. You gotta remember back in elementary school you like-did the Lightskin-did boy, but you also didn't know how to tell time from a watch/clock that wasn't digital so I can't judge u for that, but as you became that upperclassman in high school you still had a taste for the superficial. Instead of the fairskin one you went after the ones who could offer you more. The ones who not only did they not attend your school(who wants a classmate) they didn't go to school at all because they were too old to be there. He had to be at least 2 years older with some sort of money to splurge on you - and that's alright. It's your business do as you wish.
Fast- forward 6 years after high school where you've either pursued your studies further or you've started a career of sorts and have begun encountering like-minded individuals or new 'sistas' and 'chicas' to roll with that are driven and goal oriented just like you are. Not only are you an upstart individual making at least 45k with perks, but you can also party 4 days a week and come into the office with a hangover yet function like its not a big deal just get you a cup of coffee and u'll be fine, make it 2. So to say the least you're doing it. You still want what you want, but what you're getting has substantiated a bit as your taste gets tweaked errrrytime you meet/date/deal with a new dude.
"He's nice but his car is nicer","He just isn't doing enough", "I won't date a man with kids", "He gotta be bringing something to the table", and my personal fav "I just haven't met someone on my level". Well since the beginning of your likes and like-nots your level hasn't been of even keel. You always expected a ready made man but worked under false pretenses indicating that you would actually work with someone, but that's just not true. I blame Barbie honestly. She fugged it up for US. She had ERRYTHING a lil gurl wanted from multiple successful careers, a lil hoe for a sister that she could guide through life, a dream house and a ready made man wearing an ascot who never pressed her to do freaky shiz cuz he doesn't have the Ego to back it up.
You're set in your ways and adjustment = sacrifice and sacrifice goes against what you really want and that my dear is a hard pill to swallow. I'm guessin what you haven't caught on to yet is YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. You aren't going to be able to change him into what you want. You also aren't going to be able to pick and prod then mesh the good qualities from your Ex's to make your perfect Soul Brotha #1. Relax, Think for a moment maybe if you stopped and just enjoyed what you have instead of finding something wrong you just might like whats going on. Stop counting too! It does no one any good if you've busy counting how many days its been since he did something special. Ur the only one upset by it and you start to write him off for petty ish like just that he's txted u 4 times today already. Annoying, maybe but dealbreaker - hardly. It might look like I'm pointing the finger alot and saying its all your fault. I am but I'm not. Trust ima dig in my own shiz in the next week and tell u why I think we're doing it wrong too BUT this is the craziest part, IM the ONLY guy I know that isn't in a committed relationship or Married. So I can say from first hand encounters that the shoe has been on the other foot and they find someone to work something meaningful out with. I couldn't hook you up with one of my boys unless u were O.K with him coming to your house only and you never meeting his friends. I don't know their individual circumstances, and I'm not sure what is is about their ladies that let them let go enuf to sacrifice but whatever it was it worked. In my circle which has a much larger population of women than men the guys are good and the gurls are busy trying to reinvent the wheel over and over and over again.
His side of the Bed